The boring life of Jerod Poore, Crazymeds' Chief Citizen Medical Expert.

New Shirts at Straight Jacket T-Shirts

At my Cafe Press store, Straight Jacket T-Shirts, I have some new, craptastic, overpriced short- and long-sleeved black shirts in Crazy Meds' singular Pill Font joining the existing craptastic, overpriced short- and long-sleeved black shirts in said font.

Now available are shirts reading:

Mentally Interesting
Medicated For Your Protection
Go Away!
Brain Cooties Aren't Contagious

and, inspired by a med-related Jonathan Coulton song:

I Feel Fantastic!
I Always Take My Medicine

Saint Obama de Mo'Crats

I haven't been doing much on Crazy Meds for a variety of reasons. Demotivation being the main one. I can't do much of anything in my life these days. I'm in a sort of Limbo as the days pass by and I'm waiting for something to fall from the sky to turn things around. I'm down to external forces at work. Everything else seems so pointless.

I keep on top of the forum as best I can, out of some sense of responsibility more than anything else.

All I can really do in the way of anything is get all political. I'd be volunteering to work for Senator Obama's campaign were it not for the crippling agoraphobia, social avoidance, random medication-induced lethargy that prevents me from doing much more than feeding the cats, the odd seizure and periods of depression. Other than that I'd be good to go.

So I thought of something stupid to raise money. Some people on the right have used the term "Saint Obama" in a disparaging way, in that the senator's supporters see him as not being able to do wrong, he'll solve all of our problems, and that speech he gave after securing the nomination with the bit about lowering the waters was right out of the book of Exodus.

Take a look at Saint Martin de Porres. He is the patron saint of: interracial relations, social justice, public education, public health service, people of mixed race, animal shelters, and Italian barbers and hairdressers. I get the barbers and hairdressers, as back in his day barbers did surgery and he was trained to do both. Why only Italian stylists get to claim his patronage is beyond me. And his feast day is November 3rd, the day before this year's election. One of the good luck charms Senator Obama carries around with him all the time is a St. Martin de Porres figure.

So it seemed fitting, or at least somewhere in that interzone of satire, sacred and sacrilege, to make up prayer cards depicting Senator Barack Obama as St. Martin de Porres. Actually it's not all that sacrilegious. Back in the good old days of the late Middle Ages and early Renaissance political figures were used as the models for religious icons all the freaking time in England, France, Spain and Italy. This is actually a fine old Catholic tradition.

And what prayer cards would be complete without some prayers to go on the back?

First a traditional prayer to St. Martin de Porres:

To you Saint Martin de Porres we prayerfully lift up our hearts filled with serene confidence and devotion. Mindful of your unbounded and helpful charity to all levels of society and also of your meekness and humility of heart, we offer our petitions to you. Pour out upon our families the precious gifts of your solicitous and generous intercession; show to the people of every race and every color the paths of unity and of justice; implore from our Father in heaven the coming of his kingdom, so that through mutual benevolence in God men may increase the fruits of grace and merit the rewards of eternal life. Amen.

Now a tongue-in-cheek prayer to St. Obama de Mo'Crats:

St. Obama, you always had sympathy for the poor and the young. I need your help and now ask for it with great confidence in your goodness, power and charisma. Please remember me after November. I turn to you in my sorrow and anxiety to seek your friendly protection. Please intercede for me with our merciful Father in heaven so that I may finally get health insurance and a real job. Ask that I might have something of your spirit of love, hope and change, and so be at all times be in God's and the bank's good graces. Oh heavenly Father, in the name of your Son and of His blessed Mother, and by the merits of your faithful servant Obama, help me in my trouble and do not forsake me. Amen.

You need only print the picture and prayer you desire, laminate them and you have your very own St. Obama card to keep you safe!

Of course it wouldn't be an official prayer card if money wasn't involved. Please donate what you can at my fundraising page. Donations are optional.

I looked for a Spanish-language prayer to St. Martin de Porres, but couldn't find one that I was sure was for a prayer card. I know I couldn't find a Spanish translation of the one I used, based on specific key words, and I wasn't about to trust a software-based translation. So any pointers to such would be appreciated.

I also looked for a Catholicky prayer for the Obama family. Or at least Senator Obama. No luck either.

Had I a whit of artistic talent and Photoshop I could have made something better than just pasting a picture of Barrack Obama's face over the traditional images on popular prayer cards. I'm a writer and an idea guy. Anyone familiar with Poppin' Zits! knows that my "art" consisted of poorly-executed collages.