What Fresh Fucking Hell Is This?
In addition to doing some real work, or at least procrastinating from real work, I had planned to write about more great atlas acquisitions. Instead I'm complaining about yet another problem with this fucked-up house. The most fucked-up problem to date.
How the holy fuck is there fucking carbon monoxide in here when every fucking thing is electric? The fucking water heater, the fucking clothes dryer, the fucking stove, all of that fucking shit. My fucking lawnmower is in one of the fucking outbuildings and my fucking truck is parked next to that fucking outbuilding. I don't burn anything in the fucking fireplace because that fucking thing is only useful for those fake fucking wax firelogs. The only standard fucking source of fucking carbon monoxide would be the fucking boiler, which I fucking broke two fucking years ago! The only reason I know I have a fucking problem with fucking carbon monoxide is I finally installed a real fucking smoke alarm with a carbon fucking monoxide detector the other day and the fucker started screaming at me for no obvious fucking reason. So I look up the fucking symptoms for carbon fucking monoxide poisoning and I've had all of those fucking things for a couple of fucking months, except for the fucking nausea, but I rarely feel nauseated from the fucking flu, or fucking meds, or most fucking things that make people fucking spench all over the fucking place.
So now I'm fucking freezing because I'm leaving the fucking windows open and I'm not turning on the fucking space heaters. Those fuckers are filled with oil, so that's one potential fucking source. I've been more fucking tired and have had more fucking problems thinking clearly in my fucking office, so the fucking cheap-ass flooring I put down to replace the fucking carpeting could be part of the fucking problem. I've been waking up with fucking headaches, so something in the fucking basement could be the fucking problem. As the only thing in there is the fucking pump for the fucking well, a bunch of fucking shit I need to take to the fucking dump, and one more possible fucking source that's doing the exact fucking opposite thing of what it's fucking supposed to do: instead of trapping the fucking carbon monoxide and other fucking vapors, carbon fucking monoxide from the fucking septic tank is making its way into the fucking vapor sink (or whatever those fucking things are called), filling up the fucking basement, and moving upstairs. All contrary to how that fucking shit is fucking supposed to act. I should get the fucking tank pumped anyway. And take all that fucking shit to the fucking dump.
How the holy fuck is there fucking carbon monoxide in here when every fucking thing is electric? The fucking water heater, the fucking clothes dryer, the fucking stove, all of that fucking shit. My fucking lawnmower is in one of the fucking outbuildings and my fucking truck is parked next to that fucking outbuilding. I don't burn anything in the fucking fireplace because that fucking thing is only useful for those fake fucking wax firelogs. The only standard fucking source of fucking carbon monoxide would be the fucking boiler, which I fucking broke two fucking years ago! The only reason I know I have a fucking problem with fucking carbon monoxide is I finally installed a real fucking smoke alarm with a carbon fucking monoxide detector the other day and the fucker started screaming at me for no obvious fucking reason. So I look up the fucking symptoms for carbon fucking monoxide poisoning and I've had all of those fucking things for a couple of fucking months, except for the fucking nausea, but I rarely feel nauseated from the fucking flu, or fucking meds, or most fucking things that make people fucking spench all over the fucking place.
So now I'm fucking freezing because I'm leaving the fucking windows open and I'm not turning on the fucking space heaters. Those fuckers are filled with oil, so that's one potential fucking source. I've been more fucking tired and have had more fucking problems thinking clearly in my fucking office, so the fucking cheap-ass flooring I put down to replace the fucking carpeting could be part of the fucking problem. I've been waking up with fucking headaches, so something in the fucking basement could be the fucking problem. As the only thing in there is the fucking pump for the fucking well, a bunch of fucking shit I need to take to the fucking dump, and one more possible fucking source that's doing the exact fucking opposite thing of what it's fucking supposed to do: instead of trapping the fucking carbon monoxide and other fucking vapors, carbon fucking monoxide from the fucking septic tank is making its way into the fucking vapor sink (or whatever those fucking things are called), filling up the fucking basement, and moving upstairs. All contrary to how that fucking shit is fucking supposed to act. I should get the fucking tank pumped anyway. And take all that fucking shit to the fucking dump.
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1 comment:
I assume you own your home. Landlords have to fix it. If it is your fault they can bill you. Your blog post is funny but I am sorry this is happening. T. W.
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